Updated: Jul 3, 2019
In two weeks I turn 29-years-old. This should not affect my mood, but it does. Everyday that gets closer to my birthday, I cringe. Dark thoughts linger in my mind telling me: you are not enough! Approaching the end of my 20s, I have started to reflect on life more than ever. I get mad I am not where I thought I would be in my career. I get scared, realizing how little time I actually have here on Earth. An overwhelming amount of sadness encompasses me. When did the time I get to spend with my friends and family become severely limited? When I realize I have one more year left until I turn 30-years-old, this is what I think:
* You moved to LA to be an actor and you are still not in SAG?
* You are no where close to buying a house. Don't fool yourself. Rent is still a struggle.
* You have to retirement plan. Good job Sarah.
* Your savings account sucks. Way to go for a career in the arts.
* You still don't understand stocks or have enough money to join them.
* You live in Van Nuys, California. Gross.
* You can still not meditate past 15 minutes! Focus child!
* You have not published your book that you have been working on for 6 years!
I recently had coffee with one of my best friends, whom I adore because she has a radiant positivity that exudes from her pores. When I told her how ashamed, fearful, and for some reason embarrassed I felt about approaching this last year in my 20s, she reminded me life is all about perspective. She tore a piece of notebook paper out from one of the empty pages in her planner and wrote, "What Sarah Murphree did last year." She took out a blue pen and wrote this list about my life:
* Sarah Murphree eloped in Malibu.
* Sarah Murphree had an incredible wedding in Tennessee! * Sarah Murphree had an awesome free engagement session at the highest peak in Yosemite National Park, and then she got to camp with Erick.
* Sarah Murphree made it into two stand up competitions. * Sarah Murphree backpacked Europe and saw England, Ireland, Scotland, and Spain. * Sarah Murphree acted in an indie movie and got to film in Germany. * Sarah Murphree went to Mexico with her best friends and swam in one of the oldest caves in the world. Insanity!
* Sarah Murphree's best friend came to visit her in LA, and they finally went out dancing. * Sarah Murphree signed with Marie Kondo's literary agent. * Sarah Murphree signed with NTA Talent agency. * Sarah Murphree was on hold for 4 HUGE commercials. * Sarah Murphree earned enough money to take a stand up class, comedy acting class, and a hosting class.
* Sarah Murphree went on her first mission trip to Mexico. * Did we forget, Sarah Murphree got MARRIED!!
When I look at everything I accomplished this past year, according to my best friend, I think good grief! My mind is deadly. My dark thoughts of never enough over power all the good things in my life. So how do we combat the thoughts of worthlessness that linger in our mind each year when another birthday approaches? We make a list of all the positive things that happened in our life the year prior.
Today I challenge you to make a list of all the things that happened this past year in your life that brought you joy. Put this list in a place where you can see it everyday to remind yourself how great it is to be alive. Remember: You matter. You are important. Change your perspective about life, and watch your life change with it.